My First Patient

Ok, I'm working on the Cardiac Telemetry Unit. My patient on Friday will definitely leave an impression on me for the rest of my life, probably.

She's an 81 year old woman admitted for pneumonia sepsis. She isn't quite with it and is unable to talk. Her skin is paper thin and she develops blisters and bedsores very easily and non-stop it seems.

I did all sorts of stuff with her on Friday and even got to give her a sponge bath. I Got her some clean, fresh bedsheets and gown. She has a special lotion that needs to go on her skin and I put that on after her bath. Then I gave her a real gentle back rub. The tech that was keeping her on her side said that she really enjoyed it. I was like "Really? You think?" and she was like "Yes! Don't you hear her?" She was letting out these really soft moans like it felt good! Oh I felt good cause I knew she's been in so much pain.

A few times Respiratory Therapy had to come in and give her breathing treatments and suction her out. That was hard to watch. She had tons of stuff in her. And I knew it was painful for her. But the lady from Respiratory Therapy was absolutely fantastic. She really talked to her throughout the whole thing.

She had this little stuffed dog next to her bed and I asked her son about it. He said she used to have a dog at home, but he died. So this was her dog. After my shift was up I went to her room, got her comfortable, and tucked her in. I got down next to her and called out her name. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I spent probably 5 minutes smiling at her and talking to her about her day. I told her she had a bath, a new gown and sheets, a backrub... I told her she was treated like a queen! I told her about all her visitors, including her granddaughter from Michigan. Then I showed her her dog and she looked at it and I told her he was going to lay in her lap. Then I told her that she was a very sweet lady. She just looked in my eyes like she was really listening to me and enjoying me talking to her. This was probably the first time someone really paid this much attention to her in awhile. At one point it even looked like the corner of her mouth turned up like she wanted to smile. At least I hope she did. I couldn't believe how much she was paying attention to me. The previous few days she was getting more and more unresponsive.

I don't know what's going to happen to her for sure. She probably won't be there next time I come in. I know her family was trying to decide whether or not to send her to hospice. But regardless, even if she has a few days left, I hope I really touched her and gave her a few minutes of peace and relief. I wish I knew her before she got this sick.

It was definitely a spiritual experience. I felt that we looked into each other's souls just about. It was intense. I definitely found my calling. I've always known I wanted to be a nurse but I never realized how badly. I am definitely not an office person dealing with a bunch of ungrateful assholes that stab you in the back and treat you like shit. I know I'll have patients that are that way but knowing that I'm there to help them might make it easier.

Happy to report week 1 of clinicals was more than successful!