School Update

Well this has been quite the eventful week. Guess what? I survived front loading!!! WOOHOO! It all gets easier from here. My next two check offs? Oral meds and Subcutaneous Injections. I'm excited about subq's because I give myself 2 of them every day!!!

Monday: I went for my vital signs check off and passed it perfectly. All of my findings were well within the narrow range that they allow us (2-4 pts) and the lady doing my check off, Ms. Orlean, is beyond awesome. She's a midwife and I really look up to her. She's quiet but she's got a fantastic personality. I think she's my favorite out of all of them. I feel so at ease with her. During my check off I was a little nervous, but I had a thrill for a second. I felt like a nurse and it felt so natural. I hope I get that feeling more often. When I checked my email later that night I had an email from the coordinator about our clinical group. Our instructor never showed up and quit. So we didn't have a clinical instructor. But Mrs. Read was taking volunteers to do clinicals at Rockdale (the hospital 5 miles from my home and RIGHT next door to my sons daycare). I didn't sleep that night. I was so excited.

Tuesday: I spoke with Mrs. Read and she said she just had a few details to get settled but most likely I'll be at Rockdale. I'm really cautious and try not to think about it but for once I'm happy to be at school. After class I have a mandatory meeting with my Nursing Advisor. She reviews all my stuff (test grades, teacher notes, etc) and says that she's rather impressed. I'm glad she feels that way but I feel like I'm losing my everlasting mind! She explained that Nursing School is unlike any school you have ever experienced and it's VERY demanding and VERY stressful. There's alot riding on your success and they are very difficult on us (Remember! Didn't I tell you it's like bootcamp?!) But she said everything I'm feeling is very normal and actually I'm coping really well with school and it's demands. The only thing I need to work on is stress control. Stress has bad effects on my diabetes, HBP, and ulcer. She wants to see all that get under control. She's a fantastic woman and I'm glad she's my advisor.

Wednesday: I receive word that Rockdale isn't accepting anymore students. BIG let down. I'm back at DeKalb with an instructor from Lawrenceville. See? This has happened so much in school that I KNEW not to get my hopes up. I'm disappointed, but not suprised. Glad I didn't get too excited.

Thursday: I receive emails from my new clinical instructor. She has a reputation as being really cool and funny. That gives me alot of relief. She starts giving us the info everyone else has known about their group this whole time but our group was in the dark on. I'm scared of the unknown and not knowing ANYTHING has made the upcoming clinical experience even scarier. Finally I'm receiving "info" on my fear. I also find out I'm in group 1, which starts next Thursday. I was kinda hoping for group 2 so I wouldn't start so soon. Two of the guys I'm good friends with went to group 2. That sucks. But I found out that one of the girls in my group lives real close to me and her and I will carpool. That'll help so much. I'm not too familiar with that part of Atlanta. The good thing about being in group 1 though is I can face my fear of clinical and find out sooner that it's ok. Nothing to be afraid of. Plus I get it done and over with. We're also done with clinicals 2 weeks sooner (before Thanksgiving).

Friday: I attend clinical orientation. I still haven't met Mrs. Buchholz, my clinical instructor, but I'll meet her on the first day. We didn't actually go to the hospital, we sat in the auditorium at school and received lots of cool info about DeKalb Medical. We're going to be in the Cardiac Telemetry Unit. That sounds like it'll be ALOT of fun (ie interesting).

This Weekend: I'm going out to buy the supplies that I need for clinical (clipboard, pocket notebook, poclet nurses guide, etc) I feel like a kid starting school for the first time and having the honor of buying supplies. I also have to study for another Exam on Tuesday morning. Once again, Nursing tests aren't over what you know, it's "can you pick the best trick answer". Real frustrating. But my last 2 exam grades are 76 & 80... I have to score at least a 75 on all my test to pass Nursing school. So far so good. (I found out that they threw out one of the questions, one I just happened to get wrong, so my grade went from a 78 to an 80.)

Lord thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to become a nurse and help me to remember that this is a BLESSING and to stop whining because it can all be taken away in the blink of an eye. Amen.

My brother David... RIP

I don't know what my deal is this afternoon. Well, I think I know. I found an old CD of mine in the car with music I burned back after my brother died. When something as insane as my brother dying so tragically happens, I often feel my emotions through music. There's a few songs that I could feel. It's hard to explain. Anyways, on the way home this afternoon I listened to it. It brought back alot of emotions I felt after he died.

Those who know me real well know that he was a few weeks shy of his 24th birthday. He had a beautiful daughter who was 5 years old at the time. From what I understand his long time girlfriend, and the mother of their child, cheated on him that night. He was a paramedic and that night he broke into one of the ambulances and stole an IV kit and vials of Norcuron and Etomidate. Those are two drugs given when you need to paralyze someone and put them to sleep in an emergency when you need to intubate them. But you only have a few minutes to get a tube in them and give them oxygen. They're paralyzed and unable to breathe. He went home, put his daughter to bed, text'd his gf to come get their daughter (apparantly so she'd find him), started an IV and gave himself those drugs. He simply fell asleep, stopped breathing, and died within minutes. Problem was his gf was out doing her thing and didn't get the message. When his daughter woke up the next morning she tried waking her daddy up. When she couldn't she ran to the neighbor (they lived in a duplex). The neighbor came over, realized he was dead, took Lana back to her house and kept her occupied while the EMS arrived. Ironically the very same paramedics he worked with were the same ones who responded to the call. They had to work to bring back their friend and colleague who was beyond gone.

My dad was also a fireman/paramedic and heard over the radio about a suicide at such and such address. He knew that was David's address. Imagine how he must've felt. He rushed over there. My step mother was a nurse at the hospital he was taken to. In fact, I think she worked in the ER at the time. All these people knew my brother and, although they knew without a doubt he was gone (you're brain dead within a few minutes and this was a few hours later) they busted their ass to save him.

My mom was on the phone with David's gf's mother at the time. I think they called her before my mom for some reason. She clicked over to take the call and then clicked back over to my mom and said "Vicki, don't panic but David tried to commit suicide." My mom went hysterical. She actually called 911 because she felt she couldn't drive. Of course, there's nothing that they can do for her so she had to get in the car and drive into town. Ironically on the way she ran into my grandmother and cousin and honked her horn hysterically to get them to pull over. That's when she told them and they all drove to the hospital together.

Shit this is so hard to recall all this but I have to do it. If I don't just get it out it will stay with me and I'll dwell on it. Where's the vodka?

Anyways, they all got there and my mom ran into some of the paramedics. They were all so upset. They told my mom he was dead. She went in the room to see my brother and got hysterical. She totally lost it. So did my dad and step mother. Security actually had to come by because my mom knew his gf had something to do with it and she was threatening to kill his gf.

I was at work in Georgia when I received the call. I have the details in another blog posting. I just went numb all over but once I tried to walk I about passed out. I totally lost it. It took several supervisors and the head of HR to calm me down. They got me in touch with my family in Ohio and called my husband and told him to come get me. When I talked to my dad on the phone I was hoping he'd tell me that David only ATTEMPTED it but he told me David was gone. I think I said something along the lines of "Well tell them they need to go back in there and bring him back." I was so losing it.

When I got home I contacted my Pastor. He talked to me for awhile and told me to come in the next morning for prayer and communion. That night I made reservations for a larger vehicle to rent to take to Ohio. I think I drugged myself to sleep that night. When I woke up the next morning I went to the Church and received prayer and communion. You cannot believe how much that helped. Afterwards we drove up to Ohio. The whole way there I was so scared. I wanted to see my brother but I was scared to. I thought it would be way too hard to.

Needless to say I did it. I cried so hard for so long. He was in a sort of formal fireman's uniform. He looked amazing. It was too unreal. I don't know if he could hear me but I talked to him. I told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was for anything in my life that was wrong. My mom and dad, who have been divorced for over 10 years at this point, kept fighting left and right so I was the go-between and had to be the adult of a bunch of children. It really killed me and stressed me out, but in a way it was good because I could focus on something other than just my brother. But boy was it exhausting. I didn't really get to start grieving until I got back to Georgia.
Anyways, I had a hard time at first. I drank alot on the weekends but I gave that up after one particularly rough night. I went out for a drive and had a "talk" with my brother. I was so upset. I went to the liquor store, bought something, went home and got drunk as hell. I felt miserable. I just started crying and Marty asked me what was wrong. I said "I did this so I wouldn't feel anymore pain. Now I'm drunk as hell, but I still hurt." That's when I decided that alcohol wasn't worth anything. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't like drunk on my ass all the time. Just when Marty was home on the weekends I *would* get drunk on my ass after the kids were in bed. It was just my own little drunk and alone world.

Now here I am 2 1/2 years later not doing too bad relatively. I refuse to step one foot in the state of Ohio. I don't want to go anywhere near where we grew up. I guess it's my own avoidance. Before and during all my tests I say a silent prayer and I ask my brother to see me through the tests. I think about him every day. I just really hope he is at rest. That's all I ask for.

Ok, one shot of tequila and I'm ready to lay down and watch Gremlins 2. I feel better now. Thanks everyone for listening :-)

Nursing school, trumpets, mom’s, and birthdays

Ok the moment I've been waiting for is finally here. Nursing school!!!!! I start tomorrow. I'm scared out of my mind. It's in me... it's in my blood... it's who I am but I'm still scared. I'm sure I'll do fine but I'm out of my mind with anxiety. The good news is that I'm more than half way to becoming an RN now. I'm riding down the hill now. And I'm not consuming myself with a bunch of boring subjects that I don't give a damn about.

My mom is here in GA and that's nice. I don't see her too often. I think she's having a blast just playing lazy and hanging out with the boys. I had the day off and went to pick up Cody's trumpet. Yes! Cody's playing the trumpet! He's in 6th grade and he's SO loving it.

We celebrated Colin's 3rd birthday Saturday. We had a blast. It was a Spiderman party. He's all into Spiderman. I paid an arm and a leg for the whole shindig. I had red and blue streamer things everywhere, a spiderman table cloth, a spiderman cupcake cake... I also bought him a betta fish that was red and blue. We call it Spiderfish ("Spiderfish Spiderfish. Swims wherever a spiderfish swims...") Lots of people came by... it was me, my mom, Marty, Cody, Colin, Marty's dad "Pop", his wife Eleanor, their dog Odie, Marty's mom Bobbi and her husband Norman, Marty's brother Andy, his wife Laura, their kids Abby and AJ, my best friend Kenzie (who I'm currently pictured with) and her kids Gabby and Jayden. He got all kinds of Spiderman toys. He's on cloud nine!!

Sajjid Zahir Chinoy Final

Sajjid Zahir Chinoy’s speech was a rather remarkable one, like many commemorative speeches. It was given completely extemporaneouly, and given the quality of the speech, it can be assumed that he was very seasoned in speeches. He starts off his introduction very brief after thoroughly addressing both the audience and, most importantly, the University of Richmond’s Class of 1996.

He starts his speech out by creating a fantastic visual of his time and place. You feel as though you can picture the exact night that he is boarding the plane bound for the United States. The inflection in his voice varied dramatically and kept your attention. His pitch varied considerably when he needed to stress importance in certain topics of his speech. His addition of humor into his speech was just right. It kept the audiences attention, but didn’t go overboard.

He made a fantastic transition from his own thoughts of culture and how it applied to his life to cultural differences all over the world. He proceeded to describe different occasions when he spent time with various people he knew from the Unviersity of Richmond, experiencing major American holidays for the first time. To have the opportunity to share this with someone of a different culture was such a beautiful and moving experience. The differences didn’t matter between them and all the wars and conflicts in the world didn’t exist. He perfectly explained it when he said, “The commonality of the human bond far transcends these superficial differences.”

He makes fantastic contrast in his speech when he goes from emotionally moving and touching experiences in the United States to the slaughter of 300,000 in Bosnia in just a few years time. The reasons for the massive numbers were so petty. Simply because they were different. Nevermind the fact that they were all human beings, with the potential to learn and experience their differences like Sajjid Chinoy did.

He continues to describe the fighting between Hindus and Muslims in which 2,000 Indians were killed. He put it in perspective describing that they were fighting simply over a building. Something that could be built anywhere. But those lives could never be brought back.

And he explained how the only thing missing in his life-changing experience and the experiences of people in these war torn countries is that the people at the University of Richmond were accepting of their differences and embraced them. It would have been easy not to be sensitive to him.

In the end, he wraps up his speech by reiterating his initial question and provides the answer. He encourages the Class to take experiences such as his own out into the world to help make it a better place and to share their wisdom with the world. He ends by thanking the Class, I believe for both their attention during the speech, but also for the experiences of a lifetime and the lessons he learned from all of them. It is a fantastic extemporaeous speech, one of the best I’ve ever heard.

Letter to President Johnson - History Assignment

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing in response to your request for my input with regards to the ongoing conflict in Vietnam. Although there is no perfect answer I can give you, I will provide to you the best course that I feel should be followed.

With the invention and popularity of the television, this war is the first to be brought into Americans’ living rooms. Once peaceful dinnertime meals are being interrupted by the violence of this war. People see what the media puts out there, which abstractly is not always the complete and total truth. Do not let the media dictate the direction of this war. Walter Cronkite is not the General here, do not allow him to steer this war. Public opinion is important, even more so with regards to reelection. But do not let it cloud your judgment. War is never a pretty thing and is to be avoided whenever possible. This is not something we want to initiate unless there is absolute necessity. There will be civilian casualties. Get as many people out as you can and then attack full-force. The international community will be dealt with later. Our allies will stick with us. Once the full impact of our victory is learned, we will be viewed in a positive light.

The attacks need to come on the Vietcong quickly. We are giving them a chance to watch and learn. They can be in a position to study us and, given their knowledge of the area, learn how to overcome us easily. We need to surprise them with an all out attack. Make it impossible for the Chinese and Russians to further supply the Vietnamese and focus attacks on supply routes near the border. Worry less about the number of lives lost on their side, and worry more on bombing strategic locations. Power plants need to be taken care of, as well as industrial locations. Focusing on key military installations before they are completed would work to our advantage.

Also, keep in mind what worked in Europe with the last World War, which proved very successful. It is an unfortunate consequence of war, but civilian lives will be lost. The more we can keep the numbers down the better. Attack key cities now. If we allow this war to continue ineffectively, the total number of civilian lives will turn out to be higher. So make the attacks quick, hard, and decisive.

In conclusion, it is the military that needs to make the decisions on how we should proceed. It is not the politicians looking to be reelected and benefiting themselves, and the media’s place to run this war, and boosting their ratings. If we are to win this war, it will be with a firm hand and an iron will. Speak regularly with the public in numerous addresses to update them. Give the media something to follow. Do not allow people to make their decisions based on selective information given by the press.

Assignment for Public Speaking Class - Preliminary work for advertising

Introduction
• Establish Need (Hectic Lifestyle/Connecting to listener)- For a lot of women, time is a precious commodity. Women often work outside of the home, attend college, move kids from one sporting event to another… only to feel the frustration of housework piling up at home.

• Establish Need (Not enough money for full time help) Housekeeping services are available to some women, but what about the woman on a budget who can’t afford a housekeeper or a nanny?

o Solution – What if there was a way to take some of the pressure off without breaking the budget?

o Solution - Imagine giving up just one dinner at a restaurant a week to have all of your laundry picked up at your home, cleaned, ironed, folded AND delivered back to your home? For so many women this would be a dream come true, right?

Bailey’s Laundry Service.
• Founded by two retired schoolteachers and their granddaughter – college student.
o They weren’t looking to get rich, they just wanted to bring in some extra money.
o It started out in their home, doing laundry services for some family friends. Expanded.

• (Turning Point – Appeal to emotion) They realized the personal impact they had on people’s lives.
o Letter from a new client, Sophia.
o Husband was deployed overseas - three children and no family nearby to help.
o Navy wife
o Works two jobs to help make ends meet - exhausted at the end of the day to a house that needed cleaned and laundry that needed to be washed.
o The van arrived promptly at her house, picked up the clothes, and returned at the specified time that SHE chose.
o The clothes were clean, they were folded, and smelled so fresh.
o Extra couple of hours at the end of the night to spend with her kids. Keep in mind these kids missed their father and truly valued the time they had with their mother.

• Hidden value of service - $30 for that peace of mind.
• Even that one day of service was all she needed to take a deep breath and let someone else take care of things for a change.

Service Information
• Slipcovers, comforters, and dry cleaning of course come at a small extra charge of $2.00 an item, but what’s $2?
• Starch, bleach, and launder in Baby Soft upon request.
• All you have to do is place those items in a separate bag. When they pick up your items you simply request it and note will be taken.
• (Bonus) Complimentary mesh bags for the storage and transport of your clothes for the next service.
• As a special thank you first time customers receive 10% off their total.
• Tide clean and Snuggle soft clothes

Brown Decision Papers - US History Class Assignment

The Brown Decision Papers were a collection of the decisions made by the Supreme Court in 1954 (Brown vs Board of Education of Topeka) and of individual students affected by these decisions. The Supreme Court ruled that the previous Court’s decision (Plessy vs Ferguson 1896) of “Separate But Equal” educational facilities for African American’s was unconstitutional.

Document 1 describes the reasoning behind the Court’s decision. They felt that a child cannot obtain an equal education when denied the opportunity to attend public schools with other children, simply because of their skin color. An African American, provided he is equal physically and mentally, is no different than any other child and should be afforded the same opportunities educationally. Attending a separate school would not be considered equal.

In the Papers, several African American children give their views on receiving an education in desegregated schools. One child felt that you were able to learn more and participate in sports. At that time, although he was on the team, he wasn’t able to participate in all games because of the outrage of the people within the community. Although this was completely wrong and unfair, he was just excited to have the opportunity to play when we could. This was something he wasn’t able to do in segregated schools.

Another girl gives a description of how she felt more “normal”. She was accepted by most of her peers as a person, rather than a “Negro”. In her particular situation, she was not able to participate in the sports. The camps that the children attended were still segregated.

A girl in the Deep South in May 1966 rode to school with five other children and several reporters. Upon arriving at the school, one of the reporters was assaulted by someone from the waiting crowd. When the children got off of the bus, the principal told them that the school was full and they could not attend that school. He claimed that the school would be in violation of the fire code. The children later came back with a court order to find themselves alone. Fortunately, they finished out the school year and graduated.

Unfortunately, even though the Court ruled for desegregation, there were still many white southerners angry over the decision. In March 1956, the Southern Manifesto on Integration was written and signed by over 100 members of Congress. They felt as though the Constitution never granted education and the Supreme Court overstepped their boundaries by making the ruling as they did. They were very determined to have the ruling overturned.

The problem with the Court’s decision is that often it was not enforced. The children were forced to fend for themselves when attending school. No one was there to defend them. They were called names, treated badly, and shut out.

The treatment that some of them had to endure was beyond absurd and uncalled for. But because of their perseverance and determination many of these children found themselves with the education they so badly desired. The Brown Decision proved to be the most important decision made by the Supreme Court for countless numbers of African Americans throughout the United States.