Semester 2 Clinical Day 1

Up before God at 5 in the AM, trying to clear my contact lenses of sleep gook while I apply black liquid eye liner, hair flying around every which way, my mind focusing on the traffic report on the early morning local news (11 Alive), one leg in my uniform pants, other hand buttoning up my uniform shirt, all while holding back a gallon of pee! Yep, that's how my clinical mornings start. I take my shower the night before, although I'm normally a "don't go anywhere until I have my shower" kind of person. Good thing I prepare my clinical bag the night before. I throw my hair back in a scrunchie and run out the door.

My eyes haven't even started working yet.

Ok, it's before 6 AM and I'm night blind. I hop in my car only to discover the power steering is acting up again. Damnit. I stop by McDonalds before I hit the interstate. I need a coke and a Southern Chicken biscuit. Just enough caffeine and saturated fat to give me a heart attack right as I arrive to the hospital. Ok, let's hope not at least.

I get on the interstate. There are two kinds of people on Atlanta's highways before 6 am. People who aren't awake yet and people who aren't awake yet and are still dreaming that they are racing in the Piston Cup with Lightening McQueen. I am wedged in with 3 sleepers in front of me and to either side. Lightening McQueen is driving behind me in his SUV with his brights directly in my rear view shifting to the left mirror... then to the right mirror... Maybe I'll install a disco ball so next time one of these idiots are behind me their brights create quite the display all over the interstate. I can't go anywhere dickhead. Pick another lane to bully.

Then I hit Panola Rd. That's where people start dozing off again and traffic grinds to a 10 mph halt. 80 to 10 in 1.4 seconds. Not bad. Now I have time to eat breakfast. I really should consider packing a Thermos full of black coffee and purchase a crotch rocket. ZOOOOM!

I 20 turns into 285 soon enough. I speed through the merging curve and SLAM ON MY BRAKES AGAIN. Traffic. Shit. Atlanta drivers are absolutely mesmorized by blue flashing lights. After pacing at 5 mph that my car barely measures for a mile I pass the pretty blue lights. Ahhhhhhhh. Traffic suddenly speeds up again. VRRRRRRRRRRROOOOM!

I'm going at a steady 70 until Church St. This is a bonehead exit. There's high concrete walls on both sides and no visibility until you are already in the middle of the road, which at this point you might as well just chance it.

My next 5 minutes are uneventful. I arrive at the hospital, park, run into a classmate and we run our way in to the hospital with our 90 pound clinical bags. Good thing I went to boot camp and did 10 years in the military. Oh wait. I didn't. Well, we survive the dash and arrive at the elevators. Ok. Let me tell you something. The elevators at Dekalb Medical have codes this early in the morning. You have to hit the "Up" button 49 times. Pause 1 minute. Then hit "Up" another 93 times. Keep count because if you lose track you have to start all over again. Then wait. 2 minutes later... PROMPTLY... the elevator doors open. I think the elevator was there the whole time laughing at us.

The elevator doors close and I completely forget to select the floor I'm going to. I'm surprised it didn't just take me to a random floor. I probably would have got off the elevator too. I'm so not awake. I hit "4" and up we go. The ride is so shaky I start thinking of survival techniques I can use once the elevator cord snaps and we go plunging.

We arrive at the Med Surg floor. We get off. We drag our way down to the conference room for pre-conference. Open the door. Damnit! It's 103 degrees in here! Paint it with Acetaminophen and break the fever holy crap it's hot in here! *sigh* Just cause it's 30 degrees outside doesn't mean you have to turn the ac off in the hospital.

I sit through our pre-conference in the hospital sauna. Every so often I have to add water to the steamer so our skin stays hydrated. I get my patient assignment, but our computer passwords aren't working, so I have to look at the PAPER chart. Yeah primitive. He's 83 with sepsis and colon cancer. Brought in with a BP of 93/42 P 104 RR 22 T 102.3 He's a sick man. I go in his room to introduce myself and the nurse is trying to get ABG's on him. It's painful for him and it doesn't help that she can't find his artery. There's a student nurse from Georgia Baptists Resp Therapy program in the room.

Ok, that brings me to something else. Nursing students from other schools. Do they feel that students from GPC are threats or what? They are SO hostile towards us. Shoot, the way I see it we all have the same interest and we are all coming out as RN's. Why the *(&$ can't we all just get along? I've never had to deal with a student from another school until today and I'm not happy. They have a serious chip on their shoulder! I stood back and watched. We are taught to never pass up on the opportunity to watch and learn. I've never seen a nurse going for ABG's so I watched and casually introduced myself to the patient to "distract" him. Got a smile out of him at least. That's when the other student stepped back. The patient asked if she was scared of blood and she said "No, blood doesn't bother me. I'm trying not to hover. I don't like it when people hover." I KNOW she wasn't talking about me.

After watching an unsuccessful attempt at an ABG collection I go back to the PAPER chart. I collect the data I need to make my diagnosis and care plan and I go back to the conference room we took residency in. I'm sitting at one of the computers looking up some lab values with an RN to my left doing her thing. Next to her are 2 student nurses from Georgia State's Resp School. The same school Miss Thang came from. One girl, probably 18 and fresh out of high school, is talking to the other student talking non stop about every pathetic detail of her pampered life. YAWWWWN! Then she started talking about alllllll the schools she looked into before attending Georgia State. Then she said "I looked into Georgia Perimeter but I just couldn't see getting my associate's degree." She was so ugly in her tone of voice. I know she saw my badge and I know she saw I was from GPC. I turned around to look at her and the nurse next to me did too. Then the nurse turned and looked at me and rolled her eyes. Yeah, this girl sounded pathetic. This is my 4th month at Dekalb and I have never once encountered anyone who had a problem with GPC. Guess this group just needs a mild slap in the face. Maybe tie them to a chair with IV tubing? Hang the chair from the ceiling with Foley catheter tubes?

Ok, outta sight outta mind eh?

Later on I go back to check on my patient again and he's resting comfortably. I'll let him rest. Poor man got tore up by those other students LOL I'll be extra nice to him later on. I know it's hard to find an artery and I know it's painful. But they were downright mean to him. You can be ugly to me all you want. All I care about is me. I just want to pass and get a good job to give my family a nice life and to live out my dream. But don't be ugly to my patient. They don't deserve it. And he was actually a real nice man.

After completing my paperwork I came back to see how he was doing. It was time for him to eat lunch. Because he had a spinal cord injury at home time he was weak on one side. He also has Parkinson's and shakes real bad. So he needs someone to help him eat. This morning he didn't keep his breakfast down. So I repositioned him and got him comfortable. I raised the head of his bed. He has to eat through a straw, except for his pudding. He had vanilla pudding and potato soup. The soup was still hot so I offered the pudding to him. Because he was so sick earlier I got him to take things slowly. We just got to talking and having a great time. He was so nice. We talked about everything from American Idol to World War 2 and which were the best jobs in the Navy. Older people have lived alot in their lives and have great stories to tell. Sometimes you just need to stop and listen.

Then his wife came to visit and boy did she look at me like I was "the other woman". LOL it was so funny. I introduced myself and allowed her to continue feeding him. Good thing too because once I left his room my instructor said we could leave for the day. YAY!!!!!!

I came home and took a 4 hour nap LOL Now it's after 10:00 pm and I can't sleep!!!! Well, I have lots of paperwork to do on my patient. I'll do that. It always makes me drowsy to do paperwork.

MWWWWWWWWWWWAH!