Diabetes Damnit Mellitus

So I finally got an appointment with an Endocrinologist! His name is Dr Jacobson and I hear he's amazing. It's time to sever ties with my internal medicine dr. They have just been so laid back about my diabetes. How am I supposed to take it seriously and hard core if they don't? Maybe not cut them off altogether. They've taken care of me for 6 years. But I need someone to attack this freaken disease.

I've been fighting with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Georgia for about a month about getting refill strips for my Ascensia Contour Glucose Meter. They won. They won't pay for it because they don't have a contract with Bayer or something. I have to stick with Accu Chek. Good news is Accu Chek sent me a brand new meter, the Aviva. It's much better than the Active that I've been using.

I tried it out after clinicals on Thursday. I figured I'd be kinda low. I ate at 4 am, 12 pm, and here it was 5 pm. My bs was like 96. Very very good. I was happy. I had supper and checked my post-meal bs, which should be around 100-120ish and it was almost 400!! I was so upset. They say that with blood sugars that high you shouldn't really exercise to burn off the extra blood sugar because your system is already stressed to the extreme. But they said if you don't have insulin around, you should just drink alot of water to flush it out. So I laid down, took it easy, and had alot of water. I've got several vials of insulin in the refrigerator but they're expired. Damn.
I've been pretty elevated since then. I guess my blood sugars run really high now. And I found out what I thought was a good a1c (7.2) is actually not good at all. Alot of insulin dependent diabetics find themselves around 5 or 6. I'm upset, but it's time to attack this shit. This endo has a reputation of being pretty tough. Good. I need that. I really see him putting me back on insulin. I hate insulin, but especially with the new pumps out there it sounds like it'll be just what I need. I just want to feel better. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I just got ran over by a semi. I want the good blood sugars, I want my kidneys to always work good, and I want to live forever. I don't want to die. I want to be there for my kids and husband forever.

I'm serious about this and I pray to God he helps me through this strong as hell!

I'm going for one hell of a walk...